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hidden words of love




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I can't even breath right now I'm so mad!
hidden words of love

I apologize now but I need to vent…

I am not a mean person...or a controlling person. I am a caring friend, sister, wife and mother. I love my family and will protect it fiercely!! That being said, I don't like being threatened or someone thinking that they can control the decisions made in my life (for ME or my family). Time will heal any wounds that are there….not being forced into making a decision. 

I was completely willing to listen and accept any apology that you had and I might still be willing to accept it BUT…let me clear the air.

1)      I do not respect you (you have no sense of boundaries for family or what that WORD means)

2)      I will never forget/forgive you for talking to my husband like that. You are a father and failed to act like one. Also on that note – you are a father of a grown man with his own family. Your rein of control over him and his decision making is over. If you want a relationship with him. Try being a friend to him. If you do decide to take this advice, please know that any reciprocation of friendship from him will be his choice. I have spent the last 7 years of my life trying to get him to stay connected to his family but HE has made it very clear how he feels. I understand that there is some misunderstanding throughout your family that I am to blame for this and have become accustomed to the idea. You would be dead wrong but I’ll take whatever rumors and lies you have if it still leaves a chance to connect with that side of his life.

3)      You insulted me and my husband as people and as parents (on the second part…look in a mirror)

4)      You are not my son’s father. He has one…and he is better then you will ever be! At least MY son doesn’t feel worthless or like he’s a disappointment.

5)      You lack of respect for my marriage and the PARTNERSHIP that we have blows my mind. I was raised that a husband and wife are equals and have respect for one another. And while yours seems to be played out differently (ie: “me MAN, you lil woman”) and has worked for you…please back off and allow each their own.  

6)      I am a female with a brain…yes they exist. I have opinions and ideas that are at times better then a man’s.   For you to imply that I am any less then what I am, intellectually, shows how little you mind is and what you are open to. 

7)      While most people on this planet have experimented with drugs at one point or another (and I feel it should be mentioned that this said experimentation usually takes place when you are an adolescent and don’t know any better…not by a grown man!) …you’re use of any illegal (or prescribed) substance when my child is anywhere near you is UNEXCEPTABLE!! I have known for a long time that you are a user but bit my lip because I believed you were smart enough to refrain from such asinine actions around a child. THAT IS MY FAULT…I WILL NEVER PUT ANY TRUST IN YOUR ABILITY TO THINK OF MY CHILD’S SAFETY FIRST AGAIN.

8)      It has been over a year since I saw you last, and I am completely ok with it continuing in this fashion. I do not respond to threats. Never have and never will. That being said…you should know something. Your threat of “If you don’t let me see Caleb its gonna cost you more then what the settlement gave you” is extortion 

(http://encarta.msn.com/encyclopedia_761569323/Extortion.html ) Extortion, any form of taking or obtaining property from another person by means of illegal compulsion or oppressive exaction. In common law it is defined as a crime committed by an officer of the law, who, under cover of office, unlawfully takes any money or other valuable. In many states of the U.S., the term is still so defined by legal statutes. In other states, the statutes define the term in its broader sense to include the obtaining of property from another through a wrongful use of force or fear, or by pretense of right. The term is also used synonymously with blackmail, such as, for example, the extortion of money from a person by threats of exposure of wrongdoing. The crime of extortion is punishable by fine and imprisonment and subjects the offender to removal from office.

In the U.S., the Federal Extortion Statute of July 8, 1932, makes it a criminal offense to use the mails for the purpose of extortion.

If you would like a chance to be in my family’s life then do not force this issue. Let if unfold naturally and with respect for all those involved. I have already spoken to a police officer and plan on talking to a lawyer.   With your drug use, threats, and temper…there is no judge is his right mind that would allow you to be alone with my child. Furthermore, any more threats and ultimatums, or harassment will be met with a restraining order. And any small chance that the time apart has created for healing and for you to be in my son’s life again will disappear never to see light again.





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Holy fucking shit!?!? What the hell is wrong with Steven's dad that he would even threaten you???? What happened to make him even think he COULD threaten? OOOO I'm pissed FOR YOU! BTW, Did you email this to him? YOU NEED TO. Seriously, send it to the fucktard.

He's a ex military leader that has gone frickin crazy while poppin pain pills (thats my view on it atleast)

In April of 08, Steven and I were called over to his house for a "talkin to" where he told us that we had no right in asking Steven's mom if she could watch Caleb because he made all the house decisions. Then proceeded to tell us that we were bad parents and that Caleb needed a firm hand ( mind you he was 4 at the time and that by firm he meant that Caleb should already be getting up by an alarm clock, makin his own bed, and making his own breakfast). After that lovely piece of info, he went right into attacking Steven for being injured. Called him a fake, a liar, and a disappointment as a son. OH AND WHILE ALL THIS WAS GOING ON...TRIED PARENTING MY SON!

At that point I got up and told Steven that Caleb and I would be waiting in the car. I'll admit that probably wasn't very fair to Steven but I could feel my blood boiling and didn't want Caleb around that at all. We sat in the car for 10 minutes while the verbal attack continued inside and I have no idea what was said. Steven still won't tell me wait he said and thats probably for the best. Anywho, I couldn't wait any longer. Caleb was asleep in the back and we needed to get home...so I went back into the house and told Steven that we needed to go soon. Well, me telling my husband that we needed to go pissed Carl off more and he started yelling at me.

He asked me if I had a problem and I told him flat out..."You don't want to hear it". After some back and forth with him and learning that he felt it was "obvious" who wore the pants in the family, I turned to steven and said that Caleb and I were going home and that he could stay if he wanted. It wasn't a threat just tryin NOT wear the pants. As I walked out I told Carl that he was a bad influence and no longer apart of my son's life.

Its been over a year of not seeing or talkin to him and life has been peaceful but lately he has been going to steven at work and talking with him. He said that he was sorry and understood why I was so angry. He said that he wasn't doing the drugs anymore and that he wanted a chance to apologize to me. While Steven was in Texas last month, his dad showed up and took him to dinner where apparently he said the same garbage.

Fast forward to mother's day - Steven said that he wanted to take him mom out for lunch which I thought was a great idea but he wanted to take Caleb. I knew that Carl would be there and didn't want Caleb around him but after talking with Steven decided not to push the issue. I however was NOT going to go. That night steven asked if he could talk to me for a sec (surprised the hell out of me) and asked if I would consider forgiving his dad and listening to his apology.

Chris, I didn't want to but I could see the hurt in Steven's eyes so I told him that I needed some time to process all of this. I didn't think that was too much to ask for to be honest but Steven said that his dad wanted to talk to me by Sunday. Come to find out...he had told Steven that if I don’t let him see Caleb its gonna cost us more then what the settlement gave. Now I freaked out and stressed. The man crazy with a temper. I have told the school and his playgroup that no one but his mom and dad are to pick him up but I'm still worried. Family is SO important to me and I don't understand why his dad is acting this way. He is Steven's father and I don't want to hurt that but its probably a lost cause at this point.

I wanted to email this to him...i really did but Steven wanted me to wait. I'm heading downtown to talk to another policeman and hopefully a lawyer so we'll see how that goes. Sorry this was so long...but you asked :D

PS: I miss you and hope that you're getting better fast!! <3

Wow...okay first and foremost, Cat...I don't think there is ANY WAY IN HELL he could do anythign to you guys. What are his reason's for the threats? It's probalby just that...a fuckign stupid ass threat. I truly don't think that there is anythign he can do that can make you have to PAY him for the lack of seeing his grandson. Go ahead and talk to a lawyer, but I would be money that they will say he has no grounds for anything. Unless there is some kind of crazy grandparents rights laws, and even then I think Steven's dad would have had to of directly cared for Caleb for an amount of his life. Cat please, don't worry, I think he's just acting like a big dick. He is counting on Steven being scared of him and caving. Tell Steven to grow some stones on this. It's not just him but it's his whole family suffering. I know Steven is wanting peace, but sometimes it just won't happen. If I were him, I'd pretty much drop his father out of you all's life. Steven's dad doesn't deserve you guys. Fuck him. FUCK HIM!!! Stay strong girl, you got the upper hand on this.

Be sure to update me as soon as you talk to a lawyer please!

hey you - I'm about to head out for a movie but wanted to update. Steven and I went to talk to the cops and a lawyer together today and I feel so much better. Carl has nothing to stand on and no rights to Caleb at all. Both told us that the only way he could ever have rights is if we signed them over....which will never happen. The police also told us that the only way a judge or the state would or could give Caleb is if he proved with a doubt that Caleb was in harms way by living with us.

Knowing all of that....Steven is setting up a meeting with his dad for Sunday. We are going to meet him at a restaurant so there are lots of witnesses (Caleb will not be there for the meeting btw). I plan on letting him say his piece but will definitely be speaking mine. As for Steven's desire for it to all be hunky dorry....i don't know. One thing is for sure....its our way, our rules and OUR KID!

wtf...I just txtd you

sorry the txt reply was so short but it summed it up nicely. How are things on your end?

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