I'm bored and feel like getting into trouble, and as for what that means I have NO clue. I feel trapped in a box that is safe and comfortable. I have a wondering spirit that wants to explore the world and save it when I can. Does that make sense? I am taken care of and loved more then I probably deserve but I still want more. Not more in terms of things...lord know that I have enough things to last more then one life time....I just want MORE. I dream of places that I have never seen before....of people that I've never met in this life and when I wake up, I wish that I had.
I feel the urge to scream for no reason other then to hear the constant internal vibrations out loud where...i might be able to interpret them. I long for the touch that heats my body from with-in. Not a physical touch...that I have already. I want back that feeling that my heart had years ago that left when he was damaged. I can't fall out of love with a man that means everything to me and has let me be who I am...no questions asked.
I regret the decisions that I have made that led me to where I am. While I love my family and the friends that i have made... I still wish that I had done it differently. If I just hadn't been afraid of failing, of the cost involved...maybe I could have avoided the worthlessness that i feel now and ended up in the same happy place.